so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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