The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
