Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
