woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
