It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
