Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
