i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
