ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
