You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
