Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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