It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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