Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
