we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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