Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
