i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
