are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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