i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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