i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
