This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
