Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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