i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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