sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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