My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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