I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
