With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
