Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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