Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
