Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
