I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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