We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
