Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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