I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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