chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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