...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
