im about as happy as oj after his trial
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
