I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
