Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
