make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We had sex on a dog bed..
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
