ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
