there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
