I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
