porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So much rum. So many feels.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
