no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize