I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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