I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
His nipple licking is glorious
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