Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
