I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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