if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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