Do vagina's smell?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
