She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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