Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
