He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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