New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
